Learn how to express yourself in a relationship
I've been fighting with my husband recently , The reason is that I don't talk much , I don't like to talk much , I don't like to explain things to him . My husband talks a lot , Every day I talk a lot , I think that's bullshit , He doesn't feel like an immortal , Can't accurately understand other people's intentions , I need to make it clear to him . No communication is really what I lack here . But his attitude made me feel very uncomfortable , What you say is a tone of accusation and complaint , Just like his father , To treat others as grandchildren , It's really annoying .
A very important point in the relationship between husband and wife is communication . That's what I lack . I'm not good at communication , Not willing to communicate with him . Because the husband is a stubborn person , I like to argue with people , You have to fight to death , I feel reasonable . Nagging about unimportant trifles all day , It's very boring .
Or you can tell something new , Or you have a point of view to discuss , Or something meaningful . Everyday triviality is unbearable , There is a mother-in-law at home who likes to nag , So is my husband , Every day is very trivial , No ambition at all , I don't love learning yet , Don't read , Low expectations . This is my dissatisfaction with him , I don't want him to nag me at home , I don't like the tone of his voice , Every time he talks to me like this , I'll take it back , Tell him not to treat others like this .
Don't speak well , It's not just people who hurt , It can also have a big impact on relationships . Even in a close relationship , You have to learn to speak well . I don't know if my father always scolded us when I was young , As a result, I can't accept criticism and accusation at all , So now when I hear my husband bossing me, it will explode , Absolutely have a big fight with him .
But he didn't change . I don't change either .
Over time, either we adapt to each other , Find out each other's temper in running in , Or spend the rest of your life fighting . I sometimes run away from , Try to stay away from him , No direct contact with him , So everyone can stop , Unless you have to , It's hard to communicate , When you can't talk well, you can only have a big fight , Burst out , Let him know , His attitude of criticizing others casually is unacceptable to others .
It's the first step in learning to respect . When the children were young , We'll learn from adults , How to communicate with others , How to deal with people . It was my mother who had a great influence on me , She's very gentle , Never cause trouble , There's no desire , Be able to get along with children with patience . therefore , I think it's OK to be nice to others . But mom is not weak either , I have my own plan , It's up to the father to make up his mind when he's alive , live . When my father left , Mother became a pillar , Calming pill .
My mother is still very independent , A woman with her own principles . I also want to be such an independent woman , So is my daughter , There can be men to add to the cake , Have a harmonious and happy family life , But I can't accept the humiliation of others . Don't think girls have to do it , We still want to live our own life .
I didn't sleep for a long time last night , I had a dream all night . The child couldn't sleep because he wanted to go back to his hometown , I wake up early in the morning . Now I think it's boring , Give him the momentum he deserves , Let him learn to respect . It's more important to manage your emotions , Accept your anger , See your need to be recognized .
It's important to be recognized and needed by your family . But family is gentle , Family is not a garbage can for you to vent your emotions , It's not someone you can hurt by talking to . One of the husband's problems comes from his father , Yelling at his wife all day , Let the husband think that women are free to blame from childhood , Another one from their family dotes on him .
The family centered on him , Listen to him for everything , He can blame his parents , Like my grandson , I think my wife and children are the same , No matter what happens , Give me a reprimand first , Take off your responsibility , Show your brilliance , It doesn't matter whether other people can accept such harsh words .
Three winters are warm , A vicious word, a knife . Little imagine , To say such bad things to relatives , It's like hurting your family with a knife every day . This is the expression of lack of self-cultivation . The abundance of material can't express the quality of this person , Only from the details and words can we see the level of a person's practice .
So it looks like , The husband's family is really good in disguise , There are some flaws in virtue , But it's good to be human . No one is perfect , I also have big problems , Do things carelessly , It's not serious .
People live forever , I'm practicing my life . Where do not do a good place, a little bit of correction over , Where can we improve? Correct it seriously . We can't hold on to other people's pigtails , And learn to be persuasive and help others change , This is also a part of practice .
for instance , I don't want to talk to my husband about this , I think it's also my fault , I think he's worse than me , In front of him, unconsciously, he is superior to others , Not even willing to give more advice , Not to mention painstaking .
Actually , This is also a kind of laissez faire . He's like that , If it used to be the parents' fault , But I've been married to you for years , It's still like this , Then I don't manage , The responsibility of not guiding . Because in this home , Whose energy is high , Who's going to lead the family , If you are tall , But they don't persuade or help , Then the family will always stay at the bottom , Because the bucket effect determines that the collective level is determined by the lowest one .
I have to change my strategy in the future , Focus on strengthening the transformation of the husband , Take him as the subject of my personality modification experiment , Use all kinds of tricks to make him grow up , Let him promote .
The most important thing is , No more harm to the family .